Mac Tonight

Remember the old Mac Tonight commercials from McDonald's? The ones that went like:

''When the clock strikes half past 6, babe''

''Time to head for golden lights''

''It's a good time for the great taste — dinner!''

''At McDonald's, it's Mac Tonight''

''Come on, make it Mac Tonight!''

Well, I was a great employee and one day my manager invited me into the back room and he pulled an old tape out that said "Mac Tonight Unaired" on it, hurriedly giving it to me. After work I took it home and popped it in my VHS, expecting some good old Mickey D's nostalgia, but instead, the Moon Man had a frown on his face, and he was wrinkled and the film looked like it was glitching up. He started to sing:

''When the clock strikes half past 666, bitch''

''Time to head for dead lights''

''It's a good time for the great taste — death!''

''At McDonald's, it's Crack Tonight''

''Come on, make it Crack Tonight!''

Mac Tonight froze in place, to where he was looking right at me. Suddenly, pictures of crack heads and Ronald McDonald.
I couldn't move for fear as Mac Tonight started climbing out of the TV. He then killed me. And he's coming for you next.